Can I Spoil My Baby?
Have you ever heard, “You will spoil that baby if you hold it too much!” Or, “Your baby is manipulating you into picking it up!” Sadly, most new parents have.
Let me set you free....none of these are true, so hold your baby. Follow your instincts, which call for you to answer your baby’s cries and needs. It’s natural, normal, and wonderful to cuddle your little one. Your baby ceasing to cry when you pick her up is not manipulation, it’s that you’ve met her need for YOU - companionship, comfort, warmth, and the basic necessities of a clean diaper and full belly. Remember, crying and vocalizing are the only means of communication your baby has!
The three months following birth are commonly known as the “Fourth Trimester”. While in the womb, baby receives constant warmth, rocking, nourishment, the sound of your voice and heartbeat, and the comfort of your presence. In the fourth trimester, they need exactly those same things as they are so helpless to provide for themselves, and are going through major changes physically, mentally, and emotionally. When your little one knows that you’re near, will come to comfort them when they call, and they’ll have their needs met, they actually become MORE able to be separate from as they grow older, due to the emotional stability they gain by knowing they’re safe and watched over.
Beyond instincts, even science shows us the many benefits of keeping your baby close, especially skin to skin. Benefits of skin-to-skin care during infancy may persist for years. A long-term study of babies who were in the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) of an Israeli medical center after birth found that benefits persisted years later. After assessing the children at 10 years of age, the researchers found benefits for those who had skin-to-skin care, including better maternal attachment behavior, reduced maternal anxiety, enhanced child cognitive development, and mother-child reciprocity. (https://www.biologicalpsychiatryjournal.com/article/S0006-3223(13)00764-6/fulltext)
In short, hold your baby to:
regulate their breathing
regulate their temperatures. Both parents can warm baby up, but mom is the only one who can also cool baby down!
see when their feeding cues happen and breastfeed when you and baby need to, thus reducing issues with weight gain and milk regulation
keep their blood sugar balanced because you’re helping regulate temperature, which keeps them from burning too much glucose
help them adjust to outer-uterine life and increase bonding
increase muscle strength and develop the proper curvatures of the spine
reduce baby blues, anxiety, and postpartum depression in mom
cause major positive changes in dad’s hormone levels, which facilitate long-term bonding
If you cannot spoil a baby before they’re born by providing constant warmth, food, and the comforting sound of your heartbeat, how can you spoil them afterwards by providing the same? Listen to those instincts that were ingrained in your for a reason, and enjoy a more confident parent-child experience!